Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Now ol' Milo as we all know's
Got loadsa dappa suits
London bred and he keeps his head
'Though he's got Italian roots
Emotional but he keeps his cool
'Til he reaches the finals
And whether he wins or whether he don't
'I always bite me eyeballs'

Now our friend Den, hours he spent
Down the snooker hall
On the old green baize his mates seem amazed
At skills with a snooker ball
And them long shots, he never ever got
Why? The old mind boggles
But nowadays he pots the lot
'Cos I wear these goggles'

Snooker loopy nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a load of balls and a snooker cue

Pot the reds then, skrew back
For the yellow green brown blue pink and black
Snooker loopy nuts are we
We're all snooker loopy

Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff
In the valleys of the land of song
And as the reds he puts to bed
He likes to sing along
And if I win he says with a grin
It can only help me can't it
I'll celebrate, I'll buy another eight
'Hairbrushes for me barnet'

Now old Willy Thorne his hair's all gone
And his mates all take the rise
His opponent said cover up his head
Cos it's shining in my eyes
When the light shines down on his bare crown
It's a cert he's gonna walk it
It's just not fair giving off that glare
'Perhaps I ought to chalk i